Sunday, Bloody Sunday...

I have had a delightful weekend thus far.  Three day weekends are the best!


I started the weekend off by leaving work a bit early on Friday and getting a pedi at the Hawaiian Nail Bar - I chose the Milk & Honey this time, pure bliss!  I have known for a while that a restaurant in Arlington called Candlelite Inn would be going up for auction in June.  It is kind of an Arlington institution, apparently been around since 1957.  The food is sub-par, but you do not necessarily go there for the food.  Once Jerod disclosed this news to his parents, they said it was the location of their first date, so we met them there for dinner on Friday.  I absolutely adore his parents, I will proud to call them in-laws some day. We came home and watched the Hangover in anticipation for our viewing of the Hangover 2 tomorrow.


Home Sweet Home
Saturday we went to look at apartments. We went to 5 complexes I believe.  We LOVED the first one and will not be surprised if that's the place we call home for the next several years.  However, I am trying to be reasonable and will still consider a few other options before making a final decision.


We also watched 2 movies.


Little Fockers 
This movie was pretty much what I expected.  I had several laughs but nothing earth-shattering.  I wanted to watch a comedy and this movie fit the bill just fine.


The Mechanic 
I remember seeing the trailer for this film.  And then when it came out on DVD, I thought it might be a movie Jerod would enjoy - lots of action and shoot 'em up.  So, my expectations were quite low.  However, I was very pleasantly surprised.  This was a bad ass movie.  I really enjoyed the plot and all the action.  And ladies, go ahead and recommend this to your guy, the lead in the movie, Jason Statham, is extremely easy on the eyes.


Sunday


Jerod and I have pretty different tastes in films.  I tried to watch Blue Valentine with him and he was just not into it.  So, I knew when several films came out on DVD, he would just not be into watching them.  So, I sent him home this morning so I could have my Nicole movie watching extravaganza.  Here are my thoughts...


All Good Things 
This film is based upon a real-life story occurring between 1971-2002.  It would be classified (according to me) as a suspenseful romance. It stars Ryan Gosling and Kirsten Dunst.  This film was wonderfully twisted and suspenseful.  I very much enjoyed it.  The acting was superb.  Ryan Gosling has very much impressed me with his range.  I thought he was dreamy in The Notebook and he played a very strong character in Blue Valentine.  This film showed a whole new dimension of him.  And Kirsten Dunst - WOW!   I wrote her off years ago. But she played her character beautifully.  I highly recommend this film.  In fact, well, this should surprise no one, but I sought out the book written about the crime that this film was based upon and plan to begin reading it after I finish this blog post.


Somewhere 
This is a film, well, it's hard to explain.  If you watch this film, I highly recommend viewing the "Making Of" first.  This is a film by Sofia Coppola, daughter of Francis Ford Copolla. She also directed Lost in Translation.    This is a film I consider a snapshot in time.  There is not a lot of background information, so it is open to interpretation.  Like Lost in Translation, this film is shot beautifully. It is truly a work of art.  There is not a lot of background music or distractions, the film very much is what it is.  And what is, a snapshot of a Hollywood "bad boy" portrayed brilliantly by Stephen Dorff.  Circumstances bring his 11 year old daughter, played by Elle Fanning, into his life as he has never experienced before.  I love that this film feels very genuine, not forced like many films feel.  I highly recommend this film as well.


Rabbit Hole 
This film is very complex first of all.  It stars Nicole Kidman (who I am not a fan of) and Aaron Eckhart (I like him).  They portray a married couple that lost their son 8 months ago prior in a car accident.  Sandra Oh is also in the film, and I love her, so this film gains points there.  To lose a child... I could not imagine a worse hell.  I heard somewhere, possibly in a movie, that to lose a spouse, you become a widow or widower, but there is no identifying name when you lose a child because it is too f&$ked up to discuss.  This film illustrates how people deal with grief and pain differently and on so many levels.  It is a good film, but certainly not heart-warming.


The Other Woman 

I was not sure what this film was about when I Redbox-ed it.  I thought it was another story about adultery and betrayal.  It is, to some degree, but it is so much more.  It stars Natalie Portman, an actress that I love.  She has such an amazing sense of style.  Lauren Ambrose is in this film.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE her from one of my all-time favorite television shows, Six Feet Under.  I cried when that show ended, not just because of the beautiful ending, but because the characters that I grew to love ended. This movie also stars Lisa Kudrow.  For the most part, I will always see her as Phoebe, but wow, her character in this film is a ball-busting biatchPortman's character is very vulnerable, much like her character in Closer
one of my favorite films.  Her character in this film plays a stepmother trying to find her way in the life of her stepson.  This hits a bit close to home.  Jerod has 2 daughters that will become my stepdaughters once we are married.  They live quite far away, so developing a close relationship will prove to be difficult.  Nonetheless, it is scary to think that once we say "I do", two darling little girls will become part of my family.  I think this is an incredible film and highly recommend it.


Previews 


I have always loved independent films, but watching the trailer for a few upcoming ones has peaked my interest even more.  Especially since 2 of them: they are French films with English subtitles.  Those are: Ricky - very intriguing, but a bit odd and The Beautiful Person - a film that seems to be about lust, obsession, and desire.  


Hilarity Ensues
This films brings together an incredible ensemble cast for what I imagine will be an amazing film - Peep World .  Sarah Silverman, Rainn Wilson, Michael C. Hall, Judy Greer, Ron Rifkin - need I say more??




Reading....


I will be starting the above-mentioned book based on All Good Things.  But I just finished a book called The Heart of Memory by Alison Strobel.  It is a Christian Fiction novel, which I enjoy reading from time to time, about faith.  


I want to thank everyone that has served our country in the name of freedom, that's what this weekend is about.  Enjoy your Memorial Day everyone!  Jerod and I plan to go see the Hangover 2.


Title Disclosure:  This is the opening track on U2's 1983 album WAR.  Per Wikipedia,  its lyrics describe the horror felt by an observer of the Troubles in Northern Ireland, mainly focusing on the Bloody Sunday incident in Derry where British troops shot and killed unarmed civil rights protesters and bystanders.

She's just a small town girl...

Last Sunday, one my best friends, Cindy and I enjoyed Rock of Ages Sunday Funday!  I remember when this show came out on Broadway and I wanted to see it extremely bad, but I was already back in DFW at that time.  So I was elated to see it would be in Dallas and I got great seats through my company.

We started the day off at Jorge's.  I had their brisket tacos, not the best I have ever had (shout-out to Mia's on that one).  Then we had more time to kill, so we went to Fedora for dessert.  It has been quite some time since I've been downtown, so I was amazed by all the development, especially in the name of art. 

The show itself was AWESOME!  It was everything I wanted it to be: cheesy, over-the-top, radical, I loved it!  The venue was amazing, it was at the AT&T Winspear.  During our backstage tour (photos below), the stage manager told us that it is designed like a traditional European Opera House with the horseshoe shape.  Also, the orchestra pit is the second largest in North America, holding 300 musicians, just behind the Met in New York.  Now I am yearning to see an opera.  I took lots of photos, see the captions for the details!

Cindy and I at Fedora!

The amazing chandelier (sp?) at the venue, it looks like fireworks!  And the lights retract into the ceiling - super cool!!

The stage

The terrace seats

Q&A with REO Speedwagon after the show!!!  That's Constantine from American Idol on the left, swoon....

Bo & Jim (local DJs) conducted the Q&A, Constantine again on the right!

They invited those from my company in attendance on a backstage tour!!!

Actual backstage at the venue

Stuff from the set

We were ON STAGE!  So cool.  No idea who those people are by the way.

Close-up of the set door

I loved all the details

This was on set.  I thought the Constantine sticker was cool, cause it's Constantine in the show but not as Constantine.  Whatever, I was amused  :)

Slurpees!  Official stage props!

The 80s memorabilia was greatness!

More awesome-ness

These guys were in the show

Close-up of the bar

Stuff from backstage

The loading dock for all the productions

Apparently, a space of wall is "dedicated" for each show coming through this venue.  Usually a work of art surrounded by signatures of the actors.  SO NEAT! 

Kristen Chenowith from Wicked and Glee!  EEEEEE!!!

Rock of Ages "art" waiting for signatures

This one was super cool, 3D wall art.

We had a really amazing time.  I think there might be a few shows left here in Dallas.  I highly recommend it.  It's a bit racy but super fun.  Also, there is a Rock of Ages movie in production which I am now super amped to see.  Tom Cruise, Catherine Zeta Jones, Julianne Hough are all involved to name a few.

I am looking forward to a LONG weekend, hopefully beginning tomorrow around 2P with a pedi for me.  We do not have hardly any plans.  Apartment shopping on Saturday, possibly catching the Hangover II (after I re-watch the first one).  I also plan to have a "Nicole" movie marathon, there are like 4 movies I want to see, so I will be hitting Red Box!

Have a wonderful and SAFE weekend everyone!

Title Disclosure:  If you read the title and the next words that come out of  you mouth aren't...living in a lonely world...where have you been?  Classic Journey song.  Probably the #1 drunk karaoke song of all-time.  It was popular probably when it came out originally, not sure when that was...but it became "hot" again when it was played during the last scene of the Sopranos finale.  AND...Jerod and I are going to see Journey, Foreigner, and Night Ranger in September..woohoo!!!

A heart is not judged by how much you love...

but by how much you are loved by others....

I want to thank you all for your kind and supportive regarding my blog a few posts back.  It is a bit scary to put yourself out there like that, but it was cathartic as well.  I felt so ashamed and scared to reveal the truth for so long...but if my experience could help just one person, it's more than worth it.  I was put on this Earth to glorify God and serve others, and I really need to work on that last part more often. 

In the Merry Old Land of Oz

Mom and I had a "date day" last Saturday.  We had so much fun!  We started at Mellow Mushroom off University in Fort Worth.  We had the Magical Mystery Tour - I highly recommend it, so delicious!  Then we went to this awesome boutique called Stella's right down the street (thanks for the recommendation Brook!).  We found some beautiful hand-made jewelry.  Every time I am in Fort Worth, it makes me want to move there!  I love that area!  Then we went to see the Wizard of Oz at Casa Manana.  We very much enjoyed it, the performers were extremely talented.  I am looking forward to some of the upcoming shows at the Childrens' Theatre in 2012, especially Alice in Wonderland!  They are also doing To Kill a Mockingbird, Rent, and Cash - Ring of Fire.  I am seriously considering season tickets.

Work

These past few weeks have been crazy at work...more so, there is a lot of crazy in my group.  The opportunity I was discussing for a while was a lateral move to a different area of tax.  The higher-ups decided that the position would not require a full-time person, but hopefully I can split my time between groups.  I'm kind of bummed, but I'm thankful to have a job, so I cannot complain too loudly.  We will see what happens. 

I have lots of stuff planned for this weekend...but the most exciting is what I'm calling...Rock of Ages Sunday!!! 

Oh!  I finished reading Water for Elephants, I LOVED it!  And the movie did a pretty good job of following the book for the most part.  I'm reading another bargain Kindle book right now.  I watched Blue Valentine last weekend also.  It was painful and heart-wrenching to watch.  But I am really glad I saw it.  It was extremely well-made.  I watched the special feature "making of" the movie before and Michelle Williams has been involved in this project for 6 years.  A month before they began filming, Michelle Williams, Ryan Gosling, and the girl that played their daughter all lived in the house - their family home.  They developed relationships, worked on their characters, etc.  I immediately texted Jerod and told him that we can never ever ever ever fall out of love. 

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Title Disclosure: The quote is from the Wizard of Oz movie and is said by the Wizard himself.

Beauty School Dropout...

So...


I went to get my hair done last night, here is the result...
 
    

Not that much different, just a bit shorter and more layers


So, my hair was a success, my other endeavor, not so much.  Time for a game..I am going to show you two photos and you get to guess what I woke up to this morning...

Exhibit A





Exhibit B



Have a fantastic weekend everyone!

Title Disclosure:  From the movie, Grease!





People, Places, and Things...

I heard a song yesterday that made my body tense up for a second.  It was completely involuntary and this happens somewhat frequently.  But also with certain movies, people, situations, really anything....

How the hell did this happen?
Addiction truly is a disease.  It took me a long time to accept that.  I felt that by "blaming" the disease, I was trying to get off the hook.  Everyone has the free-will to pick up a drink, a cigarette, a drug, what have you.  The difference for addicts (which is what I am, I may be a recovering addict, but I will always be an addict) is when it becomes excessive.  I read somewhere that addiction is due 50 percent to genetic predisposition and 50 percent to poor coping skills.  I wondered how I became the way I was.  My parents are not addicts, I never saw them drink, my mother smoked which I think was why I found it acceptable to be a smoker for so many years - but they certainly never set a bad example for me for the most part.  I'm sure down the line, we may have had some addiction issues in the family, but I suppose it just was not discussed for the most part.  And poor coping skills...uhhh..ya think??  

Wiring
Addicts are wired differently.  I still think about drinking and doing drugs.  Sometimes not for weeks, but sometimes daily.  And when I say drink, I don't mean a glass of wine or a few cocktails, I mean drinking alcoholically.  If I drink, it must be in a very controlled environment and manner.  Once I kicked the coke (my drug of choice), I replaced drugs with alcohol.  You see, addiction is addiction is addiction.  You are satisfying that pleasure center in your brain and the substance is really moot at that point.  I began drinking alcoholically, basically like an addict.  The old adage is so true that you hear in AA, "one drink/line is too many, a hundred is never enough".  That means that it takes just one to relapse.  However, your addiction never truly "goes away".  Meaning, your tolerance never really ceases.  So, I have been clean from coke for 3 years - there is no way I could just casually do a line, my body would crave the excesses of my past life. 

Today
My life today is so much different than it was even a year ago.  God has blessed me more than I ever could have imagined.  But addiction is a tricky character.  With the weather getting nicer (not today's torrential downpour of course), the first thing my mind/body thinks is that this is great patio drinking weather.  My head thankfully follows that thought through to what uncontrolled drinking looks like for me.  Hint:  NOT PRETTY.  That's just how my brain is wired.  Thankfully, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on controlled drinking.  For the most part, I usually just abstain.  I am rarely ever in bars and the friends I have chosen to surround myself with are not party-ers, so drinking to excess is never even a thought.  I just always have to be self-aware.  Always self aware.  For example, Saturday, I attended an event at a winery.  I had 2 glasses of wine and consciously stopped myself because could have easily drank more. 

White Lines
Drugs, on the other hand, are a completely different story.  Controlled using would never be an option for me.  In fact, I am very much aware that using to any degree could kill me.  To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I could be in the same room with it.  It being cocaine.  I used to feel such joy and this excitement pounding through my body when I knew it would soon be in my clutches.  I read somewhere that addiction can permanently rewire your brain, I believe it.  I began to associate cocaine with pleasure.  So even seeing it on TV or something similar, that excitement flows through my body.  I'm not sure that will ever go away.  The worst is seeing or hearing someone chopping lines.  That process used to be so therapeutic.  I was so methodical about it and relaxed me.  All insane thoughts now, but it was true. 

Day by Day
I would assume a lot of people think that once you quit drugs/drinking/insert addiction here, you are cured.  I do not think you are ever 100% cured.  I think it's something you always have to keep in the forefront of your mind.  I would sometimes glamorize my drug days.  I would remember all the good times I had with it.  And I would think, surely I could just have an awesome binge one night.  Thankfully, the absolute horror that I endured would quickly put things into perspective.  I recently quit smoking (again).  I quit for about 5 months and then started up again during provision (crazy work time).  I quit again, I guess like 2 months ago.  And this time it absolutely has to be for good and it will be for good.  Especially if I continue to preach to both of my parents that they need to quit smoking because I want them around for a long, long time and they are no use to me dead - harsh, I know.  But JoAnn and Les --- I AM TALKING TO YOU.  I drank and smoked for many years.  MANY YEARS.  Way longer than the drug phase which was about a year and a half.  So naturally, I associate drinking with smoking.  And I used to LOVE to smoke.  I did not really ever enjoy drinking.  I enjoyed what it did for me, loosened me up, gave me an "excuse" for inappropriate behavior, etc.  But being drunk and the aftermath were extremely unpleasant.  Well, due to that association, I severely limit my drinking because if I have a drink, I want to smoke.  And I know for a fact that I could not be a social smoker.  

Stay the course
Relapse begins before you even pick you a drink or drug.  A few examples of recovery possibly being compromised are: getting involved in other compulsive/obsessive behaviors (shopping, gambling, etc), being unaware of your needs/feelings and/or not meeting them, and continuing to hang around the same people and doing the same things.  I believe I should have been more aware of my behaviors after my first DWI.  Thankfully, I changed the group of people I hung around with.  I disassociated myself with a particularly toxic individual and removed myself from a lot of situations.  I got back to my roots.  I lost touch or rather lost the closeness of my core group of friends I had before I moved away.  I am slowly trying to rebuild those relationships back and am loving every minute of it.  God placed some amazing girls in my life and I thank Him everyday.  Bottom line: in some ways, it's a struggle everyday. 

The Grace of God
I quit drugs cold turkey.  Two of my best friends intervened and talked some sense into me and then I got my parents involved.  They saved my life.  I hope Brook and Ginger know that without a doubt, I would not have made it out of NYC alive without them.  I hit my bottom for sure.  And I was "lucky", cause some people fell much farther down or it takes much longer and an even worse trail of terror is left behind.  But I don't feel like I quit drugs, the grace of God brought me to quit drugs.  At that time, frankly, I was not even sure a God existed.  I would pray to a "higher power" and would pray to God as well, but I had my doubts.  At that point though, I was what is known as a dry drunk.  This applies to drugs also, but it's the cold turkey method.  Quitting your substance, but remaining active in your addiction -  so never making any emotional or internal changes or changing the underlying factors that contributed to your addiction.  I still had a lot of crazy going on in my head.   So it was extremely easy to pick up drinking.  I replaced one substance with another.  I began drinking alcoholically but would placate myself by saying that I wasn't drinking everyday, etc.  It took 2 DWIs in 13 months to realize that I had a drinking problem.  Not the best way to find out.  Essentially my down payment on a house or a very lavish wedding fund, went to attorneys, fines, classes, etc.  And I'm still on probation, until next summer.  Honestly, when I met Jerod, my life really turned around.  God's timing is pretty amazing.

Damaged?
I'm not really sure what brought on this blog post.  Maybe that I read Whitney Houston and her daughter, Bobbi Kristina, have both checked into rehab at separate locations.  For a long time, I considered myself damaged.  Now I consider myself lucky.  God obviously has some amazing things planned for me.  The statistics are scary though.  Relapse statistics are highly contested and vary drastically with age, drug, etc.  But the consensus is between 50% and 90% percent.  Those are pretty harrowing amounts. Another scary statistic - children of drug addicts are EIGHT times more likely to develop an addiction. 

Anyway, thanks for listening guys.  For some reason, I felt the need to get this off my chest.  I will share more of my story another time.

The work week is almost over!!!!!!!

Title Disclosure:  This is a famous saying in AA.  It means staying away from people, places, and things that you associate with using.  For example, I do not go to bars, I cut out toxic people, the cutting of coke puts me on edge, these types of things.  That can be a "trigger" and vary from person to person.

Maslow...

Title Disclosure:  Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who founded humanistic psychology but was most famous for creating the Hierarchy of Needs.  In the most basic terms, humans truly "need" very  little.  Anything beyond those very basic needs are essentially unnecessary "wants". 

And in reality, I absolutely know that God provides anything and everything that I need.  So at times I feel selfish and bratty when I want more than I need.  Yesterday, I was feeling very stressed out and depressed for several reasons.  Work stuff, moving, wedding, personal finances (mostly the best allocation of money), etc.  Sometimes I think God brings me these feelings of being overwhelmed so I can step back and realize that it really isn't that important.  Everything will work out according the His plan.  And all I can do is take things day by day.  I am feeling much better today.  I just needed a reality check.  I mean, it's not the absolute end of the world if things do not go according to my plan.  And frankly, they should not be my plan, they should be His plan.  I just need to keep some perspective and know that He will provide for all my needs. 

With all that being said, is this handbag not so adorable?  I LOVE it.  It's vegan leather which sounds to me like an oxymoron and the lining is made of recycled products, so basically I would be helping the environment by purchasing this, right?  And it's on sale....sigh....

And I resisted the Tom's movement for a while.  Not because I did not believe in what they did - for every pair of shoes purchased, a pair of shoes is donated to a child in need.  But I thought I was too old for Tom's.  Not anymore.  I want these shoes very much, notice I said want.  I would totally wear them as a neutral and they would look adorable with shorts and jeans especially since I can wear jeans on Friday.  And they are for a good cause  :)

I can't figure out how to make this photo larger without totally distorting it.

Notice new handbag and shoes is no where on Maslow's hierarchy - FAIL Nicole.

I finished reading The Secret Holocaust Diaries by Nonna Bannister.  It was free when I bought it, but anyway.  Very interesting story, very much one of hope and forgiveness.

Happy Monday Everyone!

ps...Today will possibly bring me one step closer to career fulfillment!  Cross your fingers!!

pps...You like how I attempted to rationalize my wants?  SHAMEFUL

All Eyes on Me in the Center of the Ring...

Water for Elephants


I am in the lovely town of East Lansing, Michigan this week for training.  I have not been to a truly "college" town in quite some time, so it's been interesting.  It is the home of Michigan State University - go Spartans - lol!  My co-worker, Savita, and I took a walk on Monday evening and found a shopping center - I swear, sometimes I think it's wired in for me to know where shopping is no matter what.  The funny thing, it seemed like we stepped into a time warp and ended up in 1983, or what I remember of that year since I was only 4, well more so, what I could imagine. The strip mall was run down and in serious need of renovation.  I kept looking around expecting to find a 5-7-9 or County Seat.  We stopped in World Market and walked around in search of tea. The hot tea selection at this training was not at all up to par.  I loved World Market, why don't I go there more often??  That will change for sure now.  They have a very lovely Masala Chai Tea , by the way.


We went to dinner last night at a very delicious seafood restaurant called Mitchell's.  I wish they had one in Texas, I would eat there again.  I had the Arctic Char - Shanghai style.  Arctic Char reminded me very much of salmon but with a milder flavor - if you ever see it on a menu - try it!!


This evening we decided to forgo dinner in favor of a movie...and popcorn of course.


We chose Water for Elephants.  It was not my first choice initially.


You guys know I am a ravenous reader.  I do not recall when the book, Water for Elephants, came out nor remember hearing anyone talk about it before the movie.  I am typically a read the book, then maybe watch the movie later kinda girl.  There are so many times when I even read the book years before it is made into a movie, so by the movie comes out, I can rarely recall the book.  And there are so many books I love where I just cannot bear to watch the movie as I know it will pale in comparison.


Needless to say, my expectations were low.


I was incredibly pleasantly surprised.  I LOVED this movie.  It was sweet, touching, a sheer delight.  I adore Reese Witherspoon and she was great in this role.  I really enjoyed seeing the wardrobe, beautiful.  And Robert Pattison is extremely dreamy in his role.  I will not give the movie away, but I was smiling when I was leaving the theatre.  As well as thinking how much I want to read the book.  The  book should be really spectacular especially since I enjoyed the movie.  

I highly recommend this film!

Tomorrow evening we are dining at a place called Clara's .  The restaurant is in an old Michigan train station.  So, I'm looking forward to soaking in some local flavor.  


What I'm Reading
I finished a book called Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allen.  It was a Kindle freebie, or at least it was when I downloaded it.  I guess the free books do not always remain free?  It was Christian fiction which I enjoy from time to time.  I am currently reading another Kindle freebie.  But for most of this trip, I have been poring over the bridal magazines I purchased at the airport.  YES, I finally broke down.  We have some venue visits coming up and I have received some great advice from my friends.  The magazines have given me ideas and I am really starting to put together my "vision".  I have become a bit obsessed with tablescapes also (don't ask - lol).  I can't wait to talk to my BFF Heather about them and get her input, she's a professional.  For real!  She's an interior designer.  


I come home on Friday.  Jerod will be leaving for the weekend to visit his aunt in San Antonio before I arrive home, so it will be over a week since we have seen each other...absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?  But, my daddy is picking me up and I am hoping I can squeeze a dinner in with him that night.  I have not spent much time with him in the past month and I sure am missing him!!!  Saturday I get to attend the baby shower of one of my oldest and dearest friends - I can't wait.  Sunday is Mother's Day at my grandma's.  


I hope you are all having a fantastic week!


Title Disclosure:  It's the lyrics from the Britney Spears' song "Circus".  I attended her concert when she was on tour last time in 2009.  She put on an excellent show, I really enjoyed it.  Her Femme Fatale tour is currently on sale now.  It does not look like I will be attending :(  The tickets are really expensive even for the not-so-great seats, I'm hesitant to look at the better seats...sigh..oh well.